Damaged
by xXBalorBabeXx
Summary: It's hard to face at times... most would rather hide but Trevor Philips isn't one to hide who he is. (Dark undertones, past abuse mentioned)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Slightly inspired by chapter 8 of xXHeartOfGoldXx's** _ **Blood Is Thicker Than Alcohol**_ **and an attempt at delving into darker themed stories set in first person perspective.**

"Get off of her!" I hear someone yell before being dropped to the ground as I felt Trevor's hands being pulled off of me.

"Stay out of this-" Trevor shouts at the person.

"What, so you can drag her into the caravan?! Are you that fucking sick?!" The person yells, my vision clearing up and me seeing a small blonde woman and Trevor turning enraged at her implied accusation.

Well with the way he was dragging me up the stairs... I wasn't so sure what he was going to do either, Trevor did admit to being sexually abused in the past. And in most cases, the abused turns into the abuser.

"She's my niece, I wouldn't do that! She's with the wrong people and she needs to go home kicking and screaming!" Trevor yells as I manage to pull myself up.

"What does it matter to you who I'm friends with?!" I manage to ask, rubbing my head that feels like it got treated like a soccer ball.

"Even friends is too-" Trevor starts to shout.

"Too much?! Really, coming from the guy who kidnapped a 57 year old housewife and somehow convinced her to see his 'good' side?! Or is it coming from the Trevor who admitted to sleeping with his own mother when he was barely 14?! Whatever you think I'll do, you've done worse, damaged yourself worse!" I say, yelling halfway through.

I see the maddened look appear in his eyes… but before he can punch me again, the woman catches his fist in her hands.

"Remember what I said last time?!" The woman growls, Trevor dropping his fist.

"Being confronted with the truth doesn't give you the right to punch who says it." Trevor says before turning to me, reaching out but I back up and Trevor makes a small nod and lowering his hands… hands that I never want touching me again. "Carly, this is K8lynn… she and I have been helpful to each other." He says.

"Trying to be, at least… it ain't easy." K8lynn says, lightly gripping my jaw and examining the injuries Trevor inflicted on me.

"Yeah, you're damn right it isn't. No one ever fully heals from the damage inflicted over a lifetime _if_ they heal at all." I say before leaving.

Reaching The Lost MC's campground is all I manage to do before finally falling to the ground as I hear several of the guys run to me and feel myself being picked up as I look up, seeing Johnny taking me to the caravan.

I rest my head against Johnny's left shoulder as he takes me into the caravan, kissing me on my forehead before setting me on the couch and returning with a first aid kit.

"Shh… it's okay, Carly… it's okay." Johnny says, lightly stroking my hair to comfort me.

As Johnny fixes me up, all I'm wanting is to forget what happened.

But I doubt I'll be able to… those moments I was being dragged up those steps, I didn't know whether I was gonna walk out alive or if I was looking into the eyes of someone who was trying to kill me.


	2. Chapter 2

" _I don't care what the fuck you- hey, don't you dare run!" Trevor shouts, tackling Carly as she ran off from the 24/7 he snatched her outside of after she bit him, Trevor punching Carly hard enough to knock her two top incisors out before he proceeded to drag her by her hair, Carly trying to pull his hands off of her as she screamed, kicked and thrashed around._

 _But her screams didn't do much to faze the pedestrians nearby, who were either scared senseless of Trevor or too used to his antics to care anymore._

 _Carly kicked Trevor in the head and tried to run but he threw her to the ground and dragged her again, Carly screaming "Get your fucking hands off of me, you fucking psycho!"._

 _And thankfully this time, someone heard her…_

When Carly regained consciousness, she was in a dentist's office… and then she remembered.

"There we go… all done, good as new." The nurse, a woman in her late 20s with red hair pulled back in a ponytail, said before holding up a mirror and showing Carly the replacement teeth.

Carly tried to smile but her mouth was too numb to do so… her mind was still rattled too.

Out in the waiting room, Michael stood up when the doors were forced open, Johnny, Jack and Sam immediately reaching for their respective weapons after all three also stood up.

"Go check on how she is, I'll handle this." Michael whispers, the three doing what he told them to do.

"Let me fucking see her, Michael!" Trevor demands.

"Why, so you can knock more of her teeth out or drag her by her hair again?! After how you've treated my daughter, you're not going anywhere near her! What the hell crossed your fucking mind when you thought _"Today, I'll go beat the hell out of my niece and treat her like I treat any random person I feel like abusing! It won't matter because I don't really fucking love her and never did!"_ , huh,Trevor?! After what happened, you have no right barging in here and acting like you did nothing wrong!" Michael says angrily, shouting halfway through and mimicking Trevor's rough voice for a minute.

"That's never really stopped him though, Carly's not the only kid he beat senseless." Both heard, looked and saw Nicole… and Trevor turned raging mad.

"The hell is she talking about?" Carly asks, Johnny, Sam and Jack helping her to the waiting room as she was still disoriented.

"He didn't directly beat her but mine and my sisters' friend Marzia was in a car crash and I found out that _his_ truck was the one that hit her… and because of that, she's been in a coma since 2007." Nicole says.

"Carly, she's-" Trevor starts to say.

"What, lying?! What sorry ass excuse are you gonna tell me, that Marzia pissed you off?! Or maybe you'll say that you were badly hurt because of losing the one you claimed to love!" Carly says.

"Well it was sort of Charlotte, I wasn't paying attention to the road because I couldn't stop remembering, I didn't even realise that the highway ended!" Trevor says.

"Did that excuse you screaming all hell at her when she was going in and out of consciousness?!" Nicole asks angrily.

"I think it's best I don't answer that, don't you?" Trevor says.

"Okay, then answer me this. What caliber of bullet should your skull be shattered with?!" Everyone heard, seeing Melody in the doorway with anger all over her face. "You hurt one of the kindest people to me… and one day, someone's gonna have at least a second of a sensible mind and will empty a whole clip through your eye sockets!" She says, shouting at the end.

"Where the hell do you get off talking that way?! The big people talk like that and the little people either-" Trevor shouts, about to grab Melody when Carly grabbed Nicole's Walther PPX and pressed it against the back of Trevor's neck.

"You will never lay your damned hands on another child if you want to live!" Carly threatened, memories of Trevor twisting her left arm and nearly pulling it off 12 years ago flooding her mind.

"You will throw that gun away if you even want to _blink_." Trevor says.

"With pleasure." Carly says, stepping back before throwing the gun right at Trevor's head, knocking him down before aiming her own SNS pistol at him.

"Carly-" Trevor tries to say, Carly punching him in the back of the head.

"Shut your damn mouth! You say you would never harm a child, well explain, _truthfully_ , what you were just about to do to Melody." Carly says.

"She's mouthing off, needs to learn to shut the hell up with that! I wasn't gonna beat ten bales out of her, just a slap for the shock factor!" Trevor says.

"You think I ever raised a hand to my kids after what I went through when I was a kid?! You actually used to beat anyone who would raise a hand to them!" Michael says.

"Til he turned his rage on me… and it was far from a small smack on the wrist. My wrist was so badly bruised, my ankle was broken, my left ear is shot all to hell… I couldn't move for days without hurting." Carly says, putting the gun away as Trevor turned to her. "But in your rage, you didn't see me as little Carly Townley, your beloved little goddaughter. You saw me as someone who turned on you when I was running to the phone to call 911 like any kid is told to do by their parents when someone's admitted to a crime but you just saw me as a little snake." She says, Trevor clenching and unclenching his fists. "You stabbed me in the back long before the Ludendorff bank job… then when you came back, you kept twisting the knife and tried to make it my fault. Like I said last night, whatever I've done, you've done worse! Only you won't own up to it!" She says, Trevor looking at Melody.

"Kiddo… do you think I'm a monster?" Trevor asks.

"Why would my opinion matter to you? I'm not your family, I mean nothing to you." Melody says, Nicole's phone chiming and her looking at it.

' _Marzia's waking up.- Clint'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Mount Zonah, ICU…**

"Who… are you?" Marzia asks after the ventilator was removed.

"I'm the doctor who's been treating you… your friends are waiting to see you." Clint says, Marzia seeing Nicole, Melody, Skye and Maisie.

"You've gotten much bigger than when I last saw you, Mels." Marzia says as Melody held her right hand.

"I've missed you so much…" Melody says, Marzia seeing that Melody had been crying.

"What's wrong, Melody?" Marzia asks.

"There's a bad person in our lives now… Nicole says he's the same one who crashed into you and he's attacking and throwing everyone down the drains like cigarettes, caring about it the same way." Melody says.

"Don't worry, kiddo… soon as I'm up and walking, I'll find him." Marzia says.

Nicole walked into the hallway and carefully led Carly into it, Marzia sitting up and Clint's eyes widening in shock.

"What did he do, tiny?" Clint asks.

"Punched me in the face, then dragged me by my hair…" Carly says, trailing off as she didn't want Melody to hear the rest. "Hi…" She says after turning to Marzia.

"Are you that man's daughter?" Marzia asks.

"No… and I wish that he had at least tried to hold onto some sanity." Carly says.

"Sounds like he didn't have any to begin with." Marzia says.

"Marzia, do... you remember anything from that day he crashed into you?" Nicole asks.

"Not… not much… the last thing I remember was walking to my car after a day working at the Sonar Collections docks selling out the rides on the old paddle steamer." Marzia says.

"Which is now on the seafloor off the South-East coast near the city." Nicole says.

"He didn't stick around afterwards, did he?" Marzia asks.

"Not to help." Maisie says.

At the same time, Franklin heard the door of his house being kicked open and ran upstairs, Trevor screaming as he was tackled to the floor and his left arm pinned behind his back.

"You believe them over me?!" Trevor yells.

"Wasn't hard to choose as soon as Michael called me and told me that you flipped out and ambushed Carly, then tried to drag her to your caravan! And yet, you wonder why she thinks of you as a fucking creep!" Franklin growls, grabbing Trevor by his thinning hair and bashing his face against the floor hard enough to knock out some of Trevor's teeth.

"Those don't grow back! And how am I the fucking creep when she's hanging around someone like Klebitz?!" Trevor says painfully.

"Unlike you, he actually protects her and would never hurt her! Anything bad you claim that Johnny will do to her is only in your twisted mind!" Franklin says, yanking Trevor up to his feet as Trevor's phone rang, Franklin snatching and answering it. "Yeah?... oh… yeah, he's right here." He says, putting the phone by Trevor's right ear.

"You haven't forgotten about me, have you? The one you rendered comatose for 7 years?" Marzia asks sarcastically.

"That wasn't me, that was the doctors who made a cockup of your surgery!" Trevor shouts.

"Which I wouldn't have needed had you not ever been given a license, Trevor Philips." Marzia says.

"How in the hell did you even get this number?!" Trevor demands.

"You didn't even bother to look, did you? I'm a coma victim who's just woken up after nearly 7 years, I'm gonna borrow phones, read their numbers and use a payphone!" Marzia says.

"It wasn't my fucking fault that you weren't watching the road!" Trevor shouts.

"Weren't watching?! Fucker, _you_ were the one driving behind me! How am I gonna cause anything from there unless I braked suddenly, which I obviously didn't?!" Marzia says.

"People deranged and careless should have their driving rights revoked permanently but I doubt that would stop him." Franklin says.

"According to Nicole, he does what he wants, when he wants and discards everyone else's opinion." Marzia says.

"That Nicole talking or a backstabbing violet eyed bitch?!" Trevor demands.

"Get over it, lunatic. Carly kicked you out of her life over a decade ago and rightly so. You lost her trust because of your own heartless decisions." Marzia says, hanging up.

Marzia headed to Nicole's Entity XF and got into the passenger side, closing the door.

"Back to the hospital?" Nicole asks.

"Yeah… I'm still not discharged until the day after tomorrow and I'm not gonna argue after I've been asleep for 7 years." Marzia says.

Nicole drove back to Mount Zonah, helping Marzia back to her room and seeing Carly asleep, her head in Johnny's lap and using it as a pillow.

"Too much anaesthetic in her system from earlier?" Marzia asks.

"With how she was earlier, I'm surprised it finally hit her." Nicole says, helping Marzia into the bed. "So how have things been, Nicole? No sign of them?" She asks.

"Not a glimpse… and you probably won't like it but after you were gone, we tried and had to somehow earn money… I ended up putting myself out as an undercover guard, then after I had to kill someone later that year… I stepped it up to assassin, now contract killer. People pay me for either one off jobs or contract more lengthy jobs like overseeing shipments or training up guards, anything that will probably involve someone's death." Nicole says.

"Sometimes to survive… things have to change drastically." Marzia says, Carly stretching her legs out as she was dreaming.

 _Barely dodging a sniper bullet, Carly looked up towards the direction it was and saw a blur of light brown and black run from the window on the second floor of a decommissioned building before pulling herself up and running towards it. It was as she reached the empty stairwell that the small figure ran down the steps towards her._

 _Carly immediately tackled the person, hearing the scream that confirmed it to be female and pulling the hood off._

" _Are you out of your damn mind, kid?! What the hell did you shoot at me for?!" Carly asks, thinking that she was the one who had been targeted and pulling the girl up to her feet. "Who hired you?!" She demands._

" _I wasn't after you!" The girl says._

" _So you're just gonna say that I was in the wrong place, wrong time, pal?!" Carly growled._

" _Pretty much… if you'd just looked around, you would've seen that there was a guy about 8 feet behind you who'd been following you. Don't get distracted in the future and maybe I deserve a bit lighter than a tackle after deliberately snuffing my job to save you, a complete stranger, from a brutal rape." The girl says._

 _Carly stepped back, the girl looking at her._

" _Just… how old are you?" The girl asks._

" _16." Carly says, the two hearing police sirens. "Fuckin pigs, jumping the gun." She mutters, the girl laughing slightly._

" _I'm Nicole." The girl says, her and Carly shaking hands._

" _Carly." Carly says._

Carly opened her eyes, Nicole helping her sit up.

"You never told Trevor about that day, did you?" Nicole asks.

"He wouldn't have believed it." Carly says.


	4. Chapter 4

_**3/1/13…**_

" _Well?" Trevor asks after Nicole walked into the caravan._

" _Job went bad… I had to shoot someone stalking a girl barely older than me." Nicole says, Trevor slamming his fist against the table._

" _You let your fucking conscience get in the way, aren't you supposed to keep a neutral mind on the job?!" Trevor yells._

" _Look, I'm not gonna take any time to decide between taking a life for money and saving a kid from rape, give me a chance and I'll take that job_ _again! Guy didn't see me, it's still wide open!" Nicole says._

" _Fine!" Trevor says. "Fucking stupid slut would've deserved it anyway." He mutters, Nicole turning enraged._

" _Would she?! WHY?! You know what?! Fuck it, you're not paying me enough for me to sit here and deal_ _with your anti-Semitic, judgemental bullcrap! You don't even know what happened, she was just walking and the guy started following her!" Nicole yells._

 _Nicole stormed out of the caravan, nearly crashing into Sam._

" _Should I crash somewhere else tonight? And how dare he say she would've-" Sam says, Nicole seeing that she was infuriated._

" _Just go to your farmer friends in Grapeseed for tonight. And my advice, unless you're actively seeking a war, just don't mention this to him." Nicole says._

 _Sam nodded and left, Nicole heading_ _in the opposite direction._

 **Present time…**

Out and clearing his mind, Trevor found Carly and walked over to her.

"That building… I'm glad she was in it that day, Nicole saved me and she and I didn't even know each other. So I would've deserved it had she gone through with her job, huh?!" Carly says, Trevor realising it.

"Carly-" Trevor starts to say, Carly backhanding him.

"You probably somewhere in your mind suspected it was someone you knew, you just didn't want to admit it because as long as the people you want to die are dead, nothing else matters, right?! Now you realise why I was screaming when you were dragging me up those steps but you didn't care that I thought I would've been brutalized, just like you didn't care a year and a half ago!" Carly says, Trevor looking right at her.

"Don't you _dare, ever_ think I'd harm you like that. When it comes to levels like that, I'm about as harmless as you see Johnny to be. And I always was, _including_ when I was with Juana. Maybe it was an act that could be classed as rape, but it was never intended to be." Trevor says.

"You didn't even tried to talk to me, you grabbed me by my neck and said _"It's time you learn what you're in for!"_ , what do you think any girl would interpret that as?! A lesson?!" Carly yells.

"I'll tell you what I was gonna do, shall I?! Rip your clothes, give you a few bruises and leave you on the roadside. That's! Fucking! It!" Trevor shouts.

The next thing Trevor received was a hard punch to the right side of his head… and he knew why, she didn't think of that as any better.

"I trusted you for the first five years of my life… fucking wasted time that was." Carly says bitterly.

"Yeah, I bet… you think what you want of me, that's not something I can change so I just don't think about it." Trevor says.

"If it were Tracey, K8lynn or even your long forgotten adopted daughter Ashley, they would think the same damn thing of you." Carly says before leaving, Trevor heading back to his truck and getting in it, driving off and calling Jimmy's number.

"I don't know why you called, not after what you've done lately! Dad told me why Carly didn't come home last night, you fucking creep!" Jimmy snaps angrily, hanging up.

"Was that Trevor?" Tracey asks.

"Yeah… nine years away really damaged how he sees everyone." Jimmy says.

Walking into the Ryder house, Carly was immediately greeted with a hug from K8lynn.

"Uh… hi." Carly says, returning the hug… but K8lynn was taken aback by Carly trembling violently.

"Nicole didn't tell you, did she?" K8lynn says as they let go, K8lynn finding the nanophone in the hood of Carly's jacket.

"You all heard that?" Carly asks.

"Me and Skye… thankfully Maisie's at college still." K8lynn says.

"It's all on tape… he tries to lie, he'll get caught in his own trap." Skye says.

"Sooner or later… you wake up one day and your legs give out, you can't run from it anymore." Carly says, Skye helping her sit down as Johnny walked in and over to Carly, both of them hugging.

"K8… what's going through that mind of yours?" Skye asks quietly.

"Things have to be straightened out." K8lynn says.

 **A few hours later…**

"You know what?! With the way you've been eying that woman… I think you want more than just a one nighter." Lamar says drunkenly as he pointed out the young prostitute that Trevor was watching… her small stature and light brown hair was making him wary of approaching her though and underneath that makeup, he doubted she was legal.

Hell, he doubted she was a prostitute at all. Trevor stormed over and grabbed the young woman by her hair.

"What are you trying to prove, huh Carly Jade?! Dressed up like this when you're barely old enough to drive, are you that much like Amanda?!" Trevor yells, the young woman screaming in fright and grabbing a can of pepper spray.

Trevor screamed in agony as his eyes were blasted by the nearly blinding spray and fell to the ground as the woman ran off, Lamar helping Trevor up.

"Crazy Dude, that wasn't Violet Eyes! What the hell's wrong with you?!" Lamar yells in shock at what he had seen from Trevor.

"She… I'm not losing it, I swear, she… she looked just like her. You know what?! That's how Carly will end up and she doesn't even care!" Trevor says.

"You said something happened earlier, now I think it's time you tell me." Lamar says as Trevor washed his eyes out at a nearby water fountain.

"Alright… so years ago in 2007, there was this girl I crashed into in traffic, long story short a metal beam shot through the windshield and took pretty much the whole left side of her head out, top of the skull included, blood and brain everywhere. Next thing you know, the doctors made a big mess of the surgery and she's in a deep coma… yesterday she woke up." Trevor says.

"Where's the part where it involves Carly?" Lamar asks.

"This coma girl, Marzia, was a very close person to the Ryder sisters back in the day, so naturally if she meets them, friends of Carly's friends immediately become her own friends. So as soon as Marzia and Nicole start talking about what happened, Carly instantly jumps on the trail, any chance to throw an insult at me." Trevor says.

"Every time lately… you and Carly can't go without you screaming at her about how fucked up she is!" Lamar says angrily, Trevor taken aback by that. "You need to get your crazy ass together, Trevor Philips, or walk away from her… because she ain't who she was then and that little girl ain't coming back." He says, Trevor punching him.

"I! FUCKING! REFUSE! I WILL NEVER LEAVE UNTIL ME OR SOMEONE ELSE IS DEAD!" Trevor yells.

Before either could say or do anything, Trevor felt a dart slam into his neck and turned, seeing the blurred outline of K8lynn.

"Take off his clothes, Lamar." K8lynn says, Lamar turning bewildered.

"Hey, I'm messed up but I don't-" Lamar starts to say.

"Just listen to me!" K8lynn says, her and Lamar dragging Trevor into an alleyway.

When Trevor regained consciousness, it was early into the morning and he saw Benson get out of the Buffalo S and walk over, Trevor trying to talk but found that his mouth was taped shut.

"What was that?" Benson says, yanking the tape off.

"I said where's that lanky son of a bitch?! Lamar Davis, where are you, you little fuck?!" Trevor demands.

"I don't see him, just a hungover lunatic." Benson says, cutting the ropes off of Trevor's legs and arms.

Trevor was hauled off in the car… and immediately, he began plotting his revenge.


End file.
